


You know...

by Melinaa



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Angst, Character Death, Death, Emotional Hurt, Episode: s03e09 Stealing Fire, Episode: s03e10 Fallen, F/M, Marcus dies instead of Lincoln, Mind Games, Rain, Sad Ending, Sorry Not Sorry, no happy Kabby
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-17
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-07-24 14:57:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7512578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melinaa/pseuds/Melinaa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Pike calls the escaped prisoners, he didn't threaten with killing the remaining Grounder prisoners. No, he threatens to kill Abby because he knows that at least one prisoner will come back. </p><p>**AU, where Marcus sacrifices himself instead of Lincoln**</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi :D  
> I know, "Stealing Fire" was already aired a long time ago but I already wrote that oneshot while I was in Spain, one or two days after I watched the Episode. And I couldn't stop thinking about Marcus sacrificing himself because we all know that he is ALWAYS sacrificing himself and, to be honest, I wondered why he didn't go instead of Lincoln. God, I'm glad he didn't but I couldn't stop thinking, and so I created this. I just had to edit it (because it was horrible) otherwise I would have posted this much earlier. 
> 
> As usual, I'm sorry for mistakes. And I'm sorry if this is going to hurt you.  
> I hope you like it anyway. 
> 
> ~Melinaa

You know I try… I try to compromise…

*

 

Pike looked up at Monty before he grabbed the radio. “If we can’t talk to them we can send them a message at least,” he said contently, switching on the radio, but before he could say a word, the doors opened, one of his guards entering the room. He switched it off again. “Sir, look whom I found where we saw the prisoners last,” he smirked while he held a struggling Abby in front of him. She gritted her teeth and hit him with her elbow right into his ribs but he just grabbed her harder. She couldn’t escape his grip, no matter how hard she tried. Pike smirked, too. “Taylor, that’s great,” he said before he switched on the radio again, saying something this time. “I know that you all can hear me. This is a message for the traitors of this camp, especially for one of you. There will be an execution today and if it won’t be one of yours, it will be Abby’s. You understand? One of you die or she dies. It’s up to you.” End.

For a moment, Abby was frozen. No. He hadn’t just said that. “No,” she whispered, more to herself than to anybody else. “No! Charles, you can’t just do that!” He simply looked at her, no words leaving his mouth.

Abby was scared. Not because he had said that he would kill her if the prisoners wouldn’t come back. _She was scared because she knew exactly that Marcus would come back._ He would come back to rescue her, to make sure she would be save. He would sacrifice himself for her. Sacrifice himself again. No. She wouldn’t let that happen. She wouldn’t let Pike put that bullet through his head.

With an unexpected movement, she finally managed to free herself and ran out of the room. “Don’t let her escape!” she heard someone shouting but didn’t pay any attention to it. She just ran. She had to reach the secret exit before Marcus did something stupid. She had to find him, to save him. To tell him that he didn’t need to sacrifice himself again for redemption or for salvation or for whatever he searched for. She couldn’t lose him. She couldn’t lose another person she loved.

She ran around a corner as she suddenly bumped into someone. She almost fell to the ground but then she felt two strong arms around her. “Abby? Oh my God, I thought…” he started but Abby cut him off. “Marcus, what the hell are you doing here?! You have to go, Pike will find you! Run! Go back, please!” she said, her voice shivered, her actions were full of panic. She tried to push him backwards but Marcus caught her wrists. “Abby, I can’t let him kill you for the things I’ve done,” he said, his voice only a whisper. She looked into his eyes, tears building in her own. “Marcus, go, please. I can’t lose you, too.”

He didn’t say anything but looked up as he heard several footsteps coming towards them. Abby heard them, too, and pushed him back again, panicking quickly. “Marcus, go! I will stop them from coming after you but for God’s sake, please go. Run,” she begged him, trying to push him backwards, to make him move, but he didn’t move. Marcus knew that it was too late. All he could do now was to making sure that Abby would be save, no matter what she’d done. Or what she was involved into. He wrapped his arms around her small shivering frame, holding her close towards him. Abby almost melted into his body, hiding her face in the crock of his neck. They didn’t say a word. She knew he wouldn’t go. There was no way. He just wanted to make sure that she was safe.

He stroke her hair lightly while the footsteps slowly came closer. “It’s ok Abby, nothing will happen to you,” he murmured. Suddenly, a sob escaped her lips. “But to you!” she cried, clinging tighter towards him, not wanting to let go of him. She clung even harder and sobbed again when she heard someone clearing his throat behind her. She felt Marcus tense but he didn’t let go off her. Instead, he held her tighter and dipped his head down, inhaling her scent, whispering “Everything is going to be okay. I promise” into her ear.

Abby looked up, the tears running down her cheeks, her eyes red from crying. “How?” she sobbed, still clinging tightly towards him and even tighter when she heard Pike saying his name. She wanted to say something to him, something like “We can still get you out of here” or “We will do this together” but before she could even open her mouth, she felt someone grabbing her from behind violently and pulling her away. “No!” she shouted, struggling to escape the guard’s grip but she hadn’t any chance. “NO! Don’t!” Abby cried like a little child but didn’t care when she saw how the guards chained Marcus, how Pike stood next to them and smiled contently, how Marcus didn’t make a single move. He stood still, his gaze totally focused on her, watching here, his eyes saying "Stay strong. Everything is going to be ok". Abby sobbed, tears running down her cheeks. Why was she so weak? He was the one who had to die, not she. And nevertheless he was strong, telling her everything would be ok. She hadn't ask him if he was alright. HE had asked her.

“Move,” Abby suddenly heard a voice and felt a harsh movement of the guard behind her. Marcus walked in front of them, two guards next to him. Abby sobbed. She couldn’t stay strong with a chained Marcus walking in front of her. She tried, she really did. Because she knew which affection her sobs and tears had on him. They were leaded through the floors of the fallen Ark but didn’t meet anybody on their way. It was horrifying empty. Their steps echoed in the silence of the metallic floors.

Suddenly, they stopped in front of the jail. “Arrest him,” Pike commanded, pointing towards the cell Marcus had already been in not so long ago. He didn’t resist as they threw him into it, but Abby did. She stirred in the guard’s grip, trying to free herself but he just grabbed her tighter until a light moan of pain escaped her lips. Marcus spun around immediately, while the door of his cell was locked, a painful expression on his face. “Please, don’t hurt her. She isn’t involved in any of this,” he said, his voice almost begging. But no one answered him. “What should we do with her, Sir?” the guard who hold Abby asked instead. Pike thought about it for a moment. Then, a horrible bright smirk crept onto his face.

“Arrest her in his quarters. The execution will be in two hours. Abby will watch it.”

*

Abby’s eyes were red and swollen from her tears by the time the guard opened the door again to get her. They had pushed a struggling and shouting Abby into Marcus’s quarters, not paying attention to her angriness or her fighting to escape their grips. When they had finally locked her into the room, she had punched the door, hitting it with her fists, screaming and swearing at the guards who still stood in front of the door before she had had to cough, her voice just a hoarse whisper after it. She had calmed down, slowly observed the room with her eyes. She’d felt tears coming up but had forced them back, had started to wander around instead.

On his bed had laid a shirt, the room had looked like Marcus had only wanted to leave it for a moment. Carefully, she’d let her fingers touch the fabric of the red shirt, almost stroking it before she’d taken it, bringing it to her face. She’d inhaled deeply, his scent that always made her feel so safe filling her lungs and she had had to force the tears back another time. She wouldn’t cry.

Like she’d burned herself, she’d suddenly dropped the shirt back on his bed. Suddenly, she’d felt like she wasn’t allowed to be here, wasn’t allowed to touch anything in here. She’d wandered around. Everything had reminded her of Marcus. Abby had never known that Pike could be such a psychopath. Arresting her in Marcus’s quarters and forcing her to watch his execution. She’d wondered what Marcus had thought in this moment. And then, she’d fallen to the ground and began to cry. She hadn’t been able to hold the tears back any longer, no matter how hard she’d tried.

She’d simply wanted to save him, she’d wanted to save the man she loved because she couldn’t just lose him again. Not after Jake. Abby knew, she would break down if she saw the dead body of Marcus. She would break if she never heard his breathy laugh again, his voice whispering that everything was going to be alright again.

Because nothing would ever be alright again if he was dead.

When the guard unlocked the door and opened it, Abby sat on the ground, leaning against a wall, her knees drawn to her chest. She stood up slowly and straightened herself as the guard walked over to her. She didn’t move when he chained her hands in front of her although her mind screamed at her to do something, something to safe Marcus, to protect him. But her body didn’t follow the order. She just felt nothing. Numb. Like none of this was real.

It felt like the worst nightmare, just without the possibility to wake up.

The guard grabbed her arm and made her follow him with a cold “Come on, Pike doesn’t like to wait.” Abby didn’t know why she didn’t resist when the young man leaded her out of the station. She really wanted to, she wanted to escape his grip, she wanted to scream, run over to Marcus, to free him, she wanted to be able to hug him and him to be able to hug her back while she said, _“It’s ok. You’re safe now.”_ She couldn’t just watch how Pike would point the gun towards Marcus’s forehead, put the bullet through his head, his dead body falling to the ground. But there wasn’t any chance for the two of them. Neither for him to survive this day, nor for her to save him. The best she could do was holding back her tears to not to hurt him any further.

She could already hear the rain outside the station even before she could see it. But seeing and eventually feeling it was something completely different. The cold water hit her skin hard, making her wince, and that was the moment when she was finally able to feel something again. Within seconds she was sodden to the bones and shivering. But she didn’t care. All, she cared about was Marcus who was standing in the middle of Arkadia, Pike barely a meter away from him, both surrounded by guards.

Marcus didn’t pay any attention to her as they arrived next to him but Abby watched him closely. His hands were chained in front of his body like they had been earlier. His gaze was focused only on Pike, his eyes as hard as steel like they had been on the Ark. Their voices were quiet, she couldn’t understand what they were talking until Pike nodded and took a few steps back. “Marcus Kane,” he began, his voice as cold as ice, “For the crimes of treason, kidnapping and attempted murder, I hereby sentence you to death.” Abby could see how Marcus took a deep breath, straightening himself even more. She felt the tears beginning to float again and was glad that it rained. The water which was floating over her face would hide her tears.

“Do you have any last wishes? Last words?” Abby pressed her lips together. Everything inside her screamed no, that she couldn’t just let that happen. But she knew, there was no way Pike would give in. A sob escaped her throat and she immediately pressed her lips together to prevent from sobbing again. “Please,” she could hear Marcus’s horrifying hollow voice, “Don’t make her watch this. She can’t anything for any of this. _Please_.” His begging voice forced more tears down Abby’s cheeks and ripped a loud sob from her throat. She didn’t know if Marcus had been able to hear it. But she hoped, for God’s sake, that he hadn’t.

“No,” Abby could hear Pike’s voice as cold as ice over the rain again. They all were sodden to the bones by now but Abby didn’t even feel the cold. She just felt numb. “No, I can’t do that.” Abby saw how Marcus gulped hard before he nodded. “Then just a moment.” Pike agreed and the guard released Abby from his grip while Marcus turned towards her, their gazes locking.

That was the moment, Abby realized that that wasn’t a nightmare at all.

He was going to die, no matter what she would do.

She stepped forward, almost falling into him, but she didn’t care for that moment. She just wanted to feel him, wanted to hug him, to kiss him, running her hands through his hair. Even if every single action of them would hurt even more and make this even harder than it already was. Like he’d said. But Abby couldn’t do anything, neither Marcus. The metal that buried itself into the skin of her wrists reminded her of it. She gripped his hands tightly, feeling them slipping through her own because of the rain. She couldn’t do anything. But she could watch him, take him in, so that she would never forget him again. She saw a single tears making its way down Marcus’s cheek. She hated to see him suffer.

She hated Pike that he did this to Marcus.

“I told you, it’s OK,” he whispered, stepping closer until he could lean his forehead against hers. He squeezed her hands and wanted to pull away again but Abby gripped them even tighter, linking their fingers together,r as if she never wanted to let go of them. Or him. “Marcus… I’m sorry… I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry, I couldn’t save you, I…”

“Hey, hey, Abby…” Marcus interrupted her softly. He looked deep into her eyes, wincing at how much pain he could see there.

He hated Pike that he did this to Abby.

“Abby, it’s OK. You think you couldn’t save me? You already saved me dozens of times. You saved me when we were trapped after Mount Weather bombed TonDC, you risked your live to save me. You saved me from the man I was used to be back on the Ark, you saved me from being someone I didn’t want to be even if I didn’t know it yet. You saved me in every possible way and now, I save you. Even if this will be the last thing I will ever do.” When Abby heard those words she couldn’t prevent from starting to cry again. She couldn’t understand it. She couldn’t understand how Marcus could still be so strong while she almost broke down. The sobs didn’t want to fade, the tears didn’t want to stop floating over her face.

“Abby, say it: It’s okay. Say it, please.” She sobbed again at how begging and pleading hos voice sounded. “It’s… it’s okay.” She looked up, meeting his gaze. He nodded. “Yes. It’s okay.” She saw how he swallowed. Hard. “Abby, I…” he started but she would never know what he had been about to say because suddenly he was pulled back by a guard. She still tried to hold him back but the rain had sodden their hands and there wasn’t any chance to hold him. Someone grabbed her from behind, pulling her back. She panicked, she tried to escape the guard’s grip to hear what Marcus had wanted to say, when she heard him saying her name.

She turned her head towards him and saw how he was forced onto his knees. The guard stepped back from him. His gaze held hers, there was no way Abby could tear her eyes away from him. “Abby. Ste yuj. Ai hod yu in.”

Abby went still. She didn’t understand his words, but she meant to know what he wanted to say.

The next things happened too slowly and too fast at the same time. Abby saw how Pike pulled the gun out of his belt, cocked it. She saw how Pike lifted it and held it towards Marcus’s head. But she didn’t realize it. Her eyes were held by Marcus’s. She looked into his brown eyes, trying to remember them, to remember everything about him to not to ever forget about him and-

And then she heard a loud noise.

It had taken so much time to turn Marcus into the man he was today.

But only a heartbeat to rip that all away.

A breathy “No” left Abby’s mouth, still not believing what had just happened. Marcus body fell to the ground, lifeless, crashing into a muddy puddle. The water splashed. Then, it turned red.

“No,” Abby whispered again, but this time she realized what had happened. The guard released her as she fell to the ground, collapsing onto her knees only a few meters away from Marcus.

She cried. The tears floated down her face, diffusing with the raindrops. Sobs were ripped from her throat, their sounds fading because of the raindrops hitting the ground. She didn’t feel the cold. She didn’t feel anything. There was only a huge whole inside her.

Marcus couldn’t be dead. If he was dead, Abby would be broken.

But he was dead. Gone forever.

Again, another person she loved had been ripped away from her.

Never again, she would hear his soft voice, waking her up when she would fall asleep over her work. Never again, she could hear his breathy laugh, she loved so much. Never again, she would see his warm brown eyes watching her during the work.

Never again, he would be there to comfort her after a terrible nightmare of Mount Weather, telling her that everything was okay. He had been the only one who had been allowed to see her like that. Vulnerable. Small. No one else.

And nevertheless, she was still kneeling here, and crying at the tops of her lung.

She hadn’t even realized that the guards had already dragged Marcus away. She pressed her lips together, trying to prevent herself from crying and sobbing. She would be strong.

When she saw a pair of shoes right in front of her, she slowly looked up, meeting Pike’s gaze. “Are you content now?” she hissed while the rain hit her face hard. Pike didn’t say anything, just watched her while she slowly stood up. Abby looked him right into the eyes. They were as brown as Marcus, but cold. There wasn’t any emotion in it. “He was your friend,” she hissed, “Do you even have an idea of what you’ve done?”

“I’m sorry, it had to come to this, Abby,” he said, “But as chancellor, it is my duty to keep the camp in line.” He nodded towards her before he left her, heading towards the station, probably to escape the rain. Abby remained. Now, she understood why she had had to watch the execution. _To keep the damn camp in line._

Marcus was the dead warning for everyone not to ever try to rebel against Pike and his government again.

And she was the living warning.


	2. You know I don't want to forget

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!  
> I'm really sorry this took me so long but... I really didn't know how to write the next chapter bc this was planned to be a One Shot. Anyway, I hope you are content with what I wrote :)  
> Have a nice Weekend!  
> As usual, I'm sorry for mistakes. 
> 
> ~Melinaa

You know I don’t want to forget…

*

 

_“At least let me say good bye.”_

_…_

She’d had her good bye.

She had said it.

She had even seen it.

God, she wanted to wrap her hands around Pike’s throat and…

No. That wasn’t she. Abby sighed and ran a hand through her hair before she tied it into her usual ponytail. She hadn’t been able to guess how right Pike had been. The people avoided her since Marcus’s execution a few days ago. They could see her sorrow and her pain but that was exactly what Pike wanted them to see. He wanted the people to see what would happen if they rebelled against him.

Either they would be as dead as Marcus. Or as broken as Abby.

Anyway, wherever they looked, they saw warnings only.

But Abby welcomed it. The medical station was almost empty, even Jackson was away most of the time. So there would be no one to see her suffering, crying. But on the other hand there was no work for her to do which could distract her from her thoughts about Marcus.

About Pike putting a bullet in his brain.

Not even Jackson. He was away most of the time and Abby suspected that he wanted to let her alone, that he thought she wanted to be alone.

It was what she wanted.

And at the same time, it wasn’t.

She felt the tears coming up again. Fast, she closed her eyes to not to cry but that was even worse. Every time, she closed her eyes, she saw how Marcus kneeled on the muddy floor outside Alpha Station, his gaze locked with hers right before she heard a loud noise, saw him falling to the ground, the puddle turning red.

Her eyes shot open and she stood up quickly. Abby looked around. She hadn’t left her quarters for the entire morning. She simply hadn’t been able to do that. She trusted that Jackson he would stay in medical in case a patient came over. Because as she’d woken up from a terrible nightmare hours ago she hadn’t been able to move. Her whole body had been frozen while she’d seen the nightmare again and again as if her mind didn’t want to let go of it.

Very, very slowly, she’d been able to stand up, to dress. But she hadn’t been able to leave her quarters because that would mean facing other people.

She’d tried her best because she’d promised that she was ok, she’d promised it to Marcus, but… she just couldn’t.

She startled at the knock on her door, clearing her throat before she answered. “Yes?”

“Dr. Griffin,” she heard Jasper’s voice, “Raven needs to see you, she has a problem. Needs your help.”

_Finally._

Abby let out a relieved sigh. Finally, there was something to do for her. “I’m there in a second!” she called out, hurrying through her quarters. She grabbed her med kit and opened the door. Jasper looked concerned but didn’t say anything, just led her the way to Raven’s quarters. Abby could already hear loud music and several voices.

“Ok. Come on, everybody out now!” she called out while she made her way through all the people, Jasper right behind her. The music was louder now, clearly coming out of Raven’s room. The people stepped aside and let her pass until she stood in front of the door. The only one who didn’t let her pass was Thelonious.

“You, too, Thelonious,” she said. She suspected why he was there. Something about his City of Light. She’d always known that this wasn’t a good thing at all, and now, with Raven in there, it was proved.

“This doesn’t concern you, Abby.”

_Oh, hell it did._

“Raven is with us now.”

“That doesn’t sound creepy at all,” she suddenly heard Jasper saying. Before she could answer Thelonious, his quiet and cautious voice interrupted her. “We took away her pain, Jasper. We saved her like we can save you,” he said, a little smile on his face but his expressions serious, before he turned around to Abby. “We can save you, too, Abby. The memories of Marcus-“

She didn’t let him finish.

“Don’t you dare talk about him!” she hissed threateningly, her voice as cold as ice. She recognized the tears building in her eyes but she refused to tear her gaze away from Thelonious’s eyes. The memories came up and she couldn’t do anything about it.

_Pike._

_The gun pointing towards Marcus’s head._

_His dead body falling to the ground._

_The pain inside her._

_Her heart shattering into pieces, never again fixable._

“Last chance before I call the guards and have them to move you away from my patient’s door”, she insisted, her eyes never leaving Thelonious’s. Her voice shivered, she knew that, but she also knew that she couldn’t do anything against it. He looked at her for a moment before a content smile appeared on his face. “You’ll come around eventually.”

Abby smiled almost sarcastically. “Not likely.”

_She would never take the key._

She never wanted to forget about Marcus, about what happened to him. About what she’d had to see. Neither she wanted to forget about Jake or Clarke. About her parents or her past on the Ark.

She squeezed past Thelonious and watched contently how he eventually left. She already wanted to knock on Raven’s door when she felt Jasper’s hand on her shoulder. “You okay?” he asked her. She looked bewildered for a moment, then nodded. “Yes. Of course, I’m okay.”

She was.

She had to be.

Because she’d it promised it to Marcus.

Jasper knocked on the door eventually and the music was turned off already a second later. Then, Raven opened the door. “Come in.” She pulled the two of them in, shutting the door close. Abby was shocked for a moment when she saw Raven for the first time in days. She had deep black shadows beneath her eyes, sweat covered her forehead and she was breathing heavily. “Raven, what’s wrong?”

“I need your help to get that thing out of my head, and I think I know how to do it,” she panted, her gaze flying from Abby to Jasper and back to Abby. Abby just stared back at the girl and wondered what the hell that thing was doing to her. Suddenly, Raven spun around to her board where she’d drawn and written several things.

“Look. I’m telling you it will work. These wristbands were designed to transmit vital signs, electrical signs from the body,” she explained while drawing on her board.

That was nothing new to Abby. Nevertheless she was glad that she had finally something to do now. Working with no end had always been her preferred method to distract herself from everything out there. “I designed them. I know how they work.”

Raven didn’t really seem to realize what Abby had just said but answered anyway. She was in a flow. “Then you know they have a transponder. All we have to do is reverse it, and then we can send an energy pulse into my brain. If I'm right, it will fry whatever A.L.I.E. put in there without damaging the tissue,” she explained her plan. Abby thought about it for a moment. It seemed logical but…

“What if you’re wrong?” Jasper asked the question that was still unsaid in Abby’s mind. Raven looked to her left and answered, “If I was wrong, A.L.I.E. wouldn’t be looking at me right now like I just stole her favorite toy.” Abby followed her gaze bewildered but couldn’t see anybody. “She’s here,” Raven explained for better understanding.

“You can see her?” Abby asked, just to make sure. Raven turned away her head, then nodded acquiescent. “Yeah.” She didn’t look any further at Abby, she seemed to try desperately to not to say anything. Abby could tell it by the way, the young woman pressed her lips together. She studied her closely as Raven suddenly spun around. “Because you stole my memory, you crazy bitch!” she shouted at the empty space next to her. Abby suspected A.L.I.E. to be standing there but didn’t dare ask.

It was silent for a moment before Jasper took a step to squeeze past Abby. “The wristbands… where are they?”

“I don’t know,” she answered desperately. She didn’t know. _But Abby did_. “I do.”

“No! No,” Raven exclaimed immediately. Abby winced and fell silent looking at her. She had her hands next to her head, a desperate gesture. Abby just wanted to hug her and to take her pain away. “Everything I hear, she hears. Everything I see, she sees. Just… just tell him,” she panted. Abby had no prejudices, really not. But right now, it seemed like Raven was totally crazy. She didn’t dare let her out of her sight until she’d covered her ears with her hands and turned away.

“The storeroom next to medical station. The last shelve on the left wall. On the highest level is a slim black box. Okay?” she whispered into Jasper’s ear. He nodded before they both turned back to Raven. Abby watched how he laid a hand on Raven’s shoulder. “We’re gonna fix you, alright?”

Raven just panted heavily and Jasper made his way to the door. Abby didn’t dare let Raven out of her sight. She stared at Jasper, her gaze still crazy like she was going to freak out the next second. Suddenly, she spun around. “NO!” she shouted to her left, to A.L.I.E. Both, Abby and Jasper startled, watching her worried. “No” she insisted, her gaze determined.

Raven looked at Abby, then to her left again. Abby followed her gaze. There was nothing to see for her but she knew that Raven could see A.L.I.E. there. And that was more than terrifying.

Abby’s gaze wandered back to Raven. Something had changed. She seemed no longer crazy, more… irritated.

And then, Raven started to scream. She threw herself forth and back. It was terrifying.

Abby could catch her just before she hit the ground. She writhed in pure panic beneath Abby’s hands while she cupped her face in her hands. “What’s wrong?” she asked immediately. She didn’t know what happened to Raven but she could bet it was A.L.I.E. “Raven, talk to me,” Abby demanded again, urgently. Raven calmed down a little bit, so Abby could lift up her eyelids and check on her. She panted and moaned and the sounds were so… timid as if she already knew that there was something else that would make her scream again about to come.

Fast, Abby looked to her left but couldn’t see Jasper anymore. She needed him. She had to get Raven to medical where she and hopefully Jackson, too, could look after her. And she couldn’t get Raven there by herself. And that was necessary. Because only a heartbeat later, Raven started to scream again. Throwing herself forth and back, Abby was forced to loosen her grip on the girl so she wouldn’t hurt herself. She tried to talk to the girl but Raven didn’t even seem to notice until she collapsed into Abby’s arms. She cradled her close, checking on her pulse. While she did that she heard a gasp behind her and _god, was she glad that Jasper was still there._

“Her heart’s racing. Look. We need to get her to medical,” she told the boy who immediately assisted her while another scream was ripped from Raven’s throat. Jasper lifted her up and followed Abby hasty to the medical station.

“Jackson, I need a Reaper Stick!” she demanded as soon as the three of them entered the medical station. Abby led Jasper to a cot and indicated him to lay Raven down there. She switched place with him then. “Make it stop,” Raven whimpered between all her screams when Abby gripped her shoulders to hold her down. She looked over to Jackson who was still standing there, looking at the little group. “Get it now,” she ordered before she concentrated on Raven again. Right the correct moment, because Raven started to scream again. She arched off the bed, throwing herself forth and back and Abby had her hands full with calming Raven and making sure that she didn’t hurt herself. As her screaming and withering subsided Abby turned around to Jasper. He must look as horrified as she. “Go, get the wristband,” she told the boy. At a last glance at Raven he disappeared, running out of the room. Abby turned back and noticed Jackson still standing there, his gaze following Jasper. “What are you waiting for? Go,” she ordered again, then focusing back on Raven. She cried, sweat covered her forehead and her eyes were red. And Abby had not a single idea what was happening to her.

She laid her fingers on Raven’s neck, searching for her pulse. “Shh, shh, it’s okay.” Her pulse was still too high and Abby stroke her hair to comfort the girl a bit that it would stop… whatever was going on in her mind. The next screaming fit hit her and it needed all the strength Abby could come up with to hold her down to the cot.

“NO!” Raven screamed, over and over again, “NO!”

“Make it stop,” she whimpered looking pleadingly at Abby. “It’s okay, sweetheart. Okay,” she whispered, trying to smile but failing. “Jackson!” she called out instead. She wanted to look into Raven’s eyes again but her gaze wandered past Abby and she screamed in horror and blank fear again. _God, where the hell was Jackson?!_

“NO!” Raven’s moans were almost screams by now and as long as Jackson didn’t bring the Reaper Stick Abby couldn’t do more than trying to comfort Raven. She knew it didn’t help but she didn’t stop either.

“NO!” Another scream was ripped from Raven’s throat. Her pulse accelerated further and further. “I submit,” she suddenly whimpered when the screaming stopped. But before Abby could wonder any further or even ask, she screamed again.

“Yes, I submit! Please… oh please…!”

Whatever Raven meant, Abby didn’t care when Jackson finally appeared. It sucked all the air from her lung as she saw how cool and relaxed he still was, only watching them. She didn’t get it. “What the hell is wrong with you?!” She hurried around the table because she didn’t really expect him coming towards her. When she has almost arrived him, Raven screamed again. Abby spun around, only to see how she collapsed onto the cot, completely motionless as if she was dead.

_No. Please not._

Abby was sure, she couldn’t stand watching another person die right in front of her.

She slowly stepped closer, her gaze observing Raven. “Raven,” she whispered questioningly, anxiously. She laid her hand on Raven’s forehead when she suddenly opened her eyes, her gaze rigidly directed to the ceiling. She sat up, slowly, like she was a doll, led by someone else.

It was like in a good horror movie.

Abby slowly stepped back, her eyes growing wide and never leaving Raven as she slowly and prudently turned her head towards Abby. At the first gaze she knew it.

_That wasn’t Raven anymore._

“I have full access to Raven’s synaptic network,” she said, her voice clearly not her own. “She’s ours.”

Abby turned around, wanting to ask Jackson what to do now. But the next thing she noticed was him injecting the essence of the Reaper Stick right into her blood. She covered his hand with hers, pure horror loomed on her face. Her sight became blurred, her head started to spin around. She noticed how her feet gave in.

She didn’t notice anymore how her body hit the ground.

*

Abby woke up only slowly. Her head was still spinning. She wanted to stretch herself but couldn’t move her hands which where bizarrely tied behind her body. The next thing she realized was that she was sitting and not lying in her bed or somewhere else.

And then, it all came back to her.

Raven.

A.L.I.E.

 _Jackson_.

She tugged at the chains which tied her hands when she heard a voice. “Welcome back.”

 _Thelonious_.

She blinked a few times, tugging further on the chains before she lifted her head and looked around. She was still in medical, tied to a chair. A little tablet with such a key for the City of Light, a scissor and a scalpel next to her and… Jackson with a creepy smile appearing on his face as soon as her gaze fell on him. Abby watched him, her gaze becoming incredulous. “Not you, too,” she whispered in pure disbelief. Not her Jackson. Not the boy she knew for ages. The boy she had hugged tightly after his mother had died in his arms. Not the boy who had said that he wanted to become a doctor to safe other people like she.

“Abby, it's a miracle,” Jackson began, “As doctors, it's our job to relieve suffering. Shouldn't you be...”

“What was your mother’s name, Jackson?” Abby interrupted him. He looked bewildered as if he didn’t know about whom she was talking. He looked to his right, where Raven was standing. _No. Not Raven. A.L.I.E._

She tilted her head. “Mary Jackson died in her son’s arms after suffering a terrible illness,” she explained, her voice sounding like a machine. “Who am I talking to?” Abby asked although she already knew which answer she would get, “It’s A.L.I.E., right?” She nodded thoughtfully. Abby leaned a bit forward on her chair to get a better look on her. “Mary’s death is the reason he became a doctor,” she explained to her but A.L.I.E. only tilted her head to the other side, the smile disappearing. Abby turned to Jackson. “She’d take that from you, too? How is that a miracle?” she asked him but instead of an answer Jackson only smiled.

“All you have to do is swallow the key and see for yourself,” Thelonious said and took a chair next to her. “That’s never gonna happen,” Abby shot back, seemingly almost killing Thelonious with her gazes. But he only smiled. “He said you’d say that,” A.L.I.E. smiled contently. Abby shook her head. This was wrong, this wasn’t Raven. She wanted Raven here.

“Abby, you’ve already stopped us for too long. We need you to tell the people that it’s safe. Just take the key and-”

“I said no”, Abby insisted. Thelonious smiled. “Would you still say no if I shew you a way to only remember the good things about Marcus and not-”

“Don’t you dare talk about him!” she hissed immediately. A sharp pain shot through her chest and she could tell that Thelonious knew that exactly that that would happen because he smiled and tilted his head. “See? These memories cause you pain only. We can take away that pain.”

“Oh no,” Abby hissed through gritted teeth, “I would rather die than forget about any of this.”

“Oh Abby,” A.L.I.E. said so soft, almost caring, “We only want to help. It will make happy to forget about his death you had to watch.”

 _Help?,_ Abby thought. She couldn’t avoid that the tears began to build at A.L.I.E.’s words. She closed her eyes tight and pressed her lips together but she felt nevertheless how a single tear slid down her cheek. “Help?” she asked, her voice shivering, “That’s no help. What you’re doing is stealing peoples’ minds.” She wanted her voice to sound sharp and hissing but everyone in the room could hear how it broke away in the end and the little sob that escaped her. She really didn’t want to let that happen. But the pictures of Marcus’s death came up again and it was just too much for her.

“You’re wrong. We’re freeing their minds, and we won’t be done until everyone is with us. Let us free your mind, Abby. You can live with only the happy memories about Marcus and-”

“I said no!” she insisted. “I don’t care if you keep talking or torture me”, she turned towards A.L.I.E., “I will never take the key.”

“Thelonious, stop it. I told you, this wouldn’t be enough,” Jackson suddenly said and looked over to A.L.I.E. who nodded before she tilted her head towards Abby. “Who said anything about torture?” she asked without wanting an answer. But Abby didn’t really listened, more she watched Jackson who grabbed the scalpel and handed it over to A.L.I.E. She took it into her other hand and a bad assumption began to come up in Abby. “What are you doing?” she asked afraid. Raven’s head tilted to its side. “Giving you a choice,” she answered before she pressed the scalpel into the skin right above her left artery of her wrist.

“No,” she exclaimed, “No. No, no, no, no, no!” Helplessly, she had to watch how the scalpel buried itself deep into Raven’s skin. “No! Stop! Stop!” she screamed when she cut open the other wrist, too. “No! No, no…”

_She had been right, she couldn’t stand watching another person die right in front of her._

With a chink, that seemed to rip something apart, the scalpel landed on the ground.

The blood flowed down Raven’s arms and trickled onto the floor.

“Oh God, oh God…” Abby exclaimed, her mouth wide open. She couldn’t believe what just happened right in front of her. “Oh God, oh… oh…” she breathed, her eyes wide because of horror. “Oh God.”

“If you want to save Raven, all you have to do is take the key,” she heard Thelonious’s voice like it was coming from far, far away. More and more blood dropped from Raven’s arms onto the floor. With even more horror, she saw how Jackson handed the chip over to the man, both of them still completely relaxed and cool. “Thelonious, please. If I don’t stop the bleeding, she’s gonna die!” Abby begged him, writhing forth and back on her chair. “Her body will die but her mind will live forever,” he answered her slowly, playing with the chip between his fingers and surveying it like it was the most precious treasure on earth. “Please!” she begged again.

Suddenly, Raven’s eyes rolled back and she collapsed to the ground. With every second that passed more blood covered the floor. “Raven…” Again, Abby tried to break away from her chair but was brutally hold back by the chains. She ripped her eyes away from the girl and looked at Thelonious. “I’m begging you, let me go to her,” she hissed in panic. “Open your mouth,” Thelonious told her, holding up the chip. Abby looked at it. “And hold out your tongue.”

With Raven’s head sinking to the ground completely, Abby’s decision was made. She opened her mouth hesitantly, waiting for Thelonious to give her the chip. She felt its weight on her tongue and closed her eyes devotedly before she leaned back on her chair.

She didn’t want to forget but that as about saving Raven. She couldn’t just let her die as long as there was something she could do.

_At least let me say good bye_

_Jake.  
_ _Her husband. The father of her daughter. The man who had always loved her. The man she had always loved._

_Clarke.  
Her daughter. Her beautiful and stubborn and strong-willed daughter. Alone out there. She knew Clarke would be alright. _

_Marcus._  
…  
The man she had watched being killed right in front of her. The man she didn’t want to forget about. The man who had caused her and her family so much pain.  
The man who had changed so much. The man who had sacrificed himself for her and her people.  
The man she loved.

_At least let me say good bye…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, now Abby's chipped... I don't really know what to write now. I mean, there is no Marcus I could put on a cross. I will definitely write some Abby in the City of Light but yeah... What would you like to read? Maybe some Jaha X Abby in the CoL? (Just had that crazy idea, all my friends wanna kill me for that XD) I mean, I don't ship them, I hate Jaha like everyone else but I found that was a funny thought XD  
> Anyway, if there is something, just let me know ^^ 
> 
> ~Melinaa


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